What inspired the making of the ‘Kinbaku Diaries’?

There were two main thoughts or instigators that propelled me to start these Kinbaku diaries. Teaching and sharing cause one to reflect and question oneself: What inspired me, what steps in my journey brought me to my current thinking, how did I acquire the skills I possess and how do I continue to deepen my understanding and skills. When learning kinbaku I rarely received direct teaching, but rather it was a process of absorbing myself in the community and actively seeking to apply what I observed to my own practice. More often than not I was never given an answer to my questions, but rather they were met with counter questions. My mentors were quick to tell me where I ‘wrong’ but not what is ’right.’ At many points, I found myself frustrated by this, yet in hindsight I realize that my mentors were challenging me to inquire deeper, to seek the answers through discovery, and to question what and why I came to certain conclusions. It was a test of how willing I was prepared to go, and how open I was to the hints and clues that were hidden in conversations and the kinbaku being played out before my eyes. There were many times when I had been struggling to figure out the best way to secure a knot or prevent the rope from slipping in places. When I finally came to an answer of my own, my mentor simply nodded and said she knew. "Why hadn't she just told me?" But, this part of the learning process. I found myself attending as many performances as possible, hassling the performers afterward with a series of questions, and then running home and trying to practice what I saw on myself.

The second point that instigated this project I am often so consumed within the moment that once the session is finished, I don't even clearly remember what tie or suspension pattern I did. It was at this point then that we can up with the idea of creating a video diary of our kinbaku experiences together. It started as something personnel but with time I realized that it is also something that I want to share; that could be a valuable resource for not only people who have come to Japan from afar to take lessons with me but for anyone at any point in their journey.

What the future holds?

The ‘Kinbaku Diaries’ series will be a growing library of content with new videos being added every 1-2 months, alongside bonus content such as after-shoot commentaries, tips and thoughts on the content and kinbaku as a whole. I plan to also create online forums and live-streaming sessions to allow for closer and more personal interaction and discussion.

Kinbaku is a practice and an intimate act that allows one to enter into and explore differing aspects of their self, their sexuality, and their desires through interaction. It is an act that allows one to explore the other on varied and deeper levels of intimacy, knowing, and trust. While an act that most often takes place between two people, I also hope that by sharing and discussing our journeys, experiences, skills, and knowledge that we can build a genuine and close-knit community unbound by geographical location. Our learning is never-ending, and we are all ‘students’ until the day we die. I value discussion as a means to reflect and re-evaluate one’s own thinking, as well as a way to broaden perspectives and come to new realizations. Therefore, I hope that these platforms will become not only a Q&A section but also a space for interaction, reflection, and inquiry. Please feel free to share your journey here, ask questions or just leave a comment.