Thoughts on Kinbaku Diaries and Learning through Observation

(While more of an explanation, please feel free to add your thoughts, ask questions or discuss) Kinbaku Diaries mixes traditional learning approaches in Japan aimed at nurturing a deeper intrinsic understanding through careful and active observation with hints of Western approaches which tend to start with direct explanation.

Based on the thinking that a student will only see the true answers once they have developed the mind, the eye and the integrity to do so, this approach does not assume a lineal journey with ‘departure point’ with ‘final destination.’

The rules and formulas are regarded as the simple part and, on a surface,-level can be learned by anyone and at any time. Yet, with kinbaku, in particular, all is subjective. Fostering an understanding of the logic and reasoning is synchronous with developing a strong and subtle mind that can intuitively and reflexively see, feel and respond to each situation and moment. In Japanese, they say it must be learned in the heart and the hands; not in the head.

As a Westerner who began and continues to pursue my training in Japan, I understand the frustrations that come from the ambiguity and the lack of concrete answers and clarity into the what, why and how, that comes with this approach. I understand what it feels like just to want someone to give you answer, or even a clue, when you are standing there “hitting your head against wall that won’t budge.”

Yet in hindsight, I feel that my understanding developed through this process is one that now exists in my heart, my hand and my body. While I still have much to learn, I feel it has imparted on me the patience and integrity to respond to instinctively to my partner; and create a “story” unique to each person I tie, and to each moment in which I tie.

I don’t believe in lineal learning, nor that you should only watch beginner “how-to” videos if you are a beginner. You do not need to take in every detail, nor watch actively at all times. I think of it like learning languages. When learning Japanese, sometimes I sat down with a textbook and drilled myself. Other times I just had a language CD playing in the background as I went to sleep. It was only later in conversation, that I noticed that I was using words that I didn't even realize that I knew. With children, sure we select what information we teach them based on their ability, but we don't filter our conversations around, saying "No we can't have that conversation in front of the child because it is too difficult for them to comprehend yet." We do not sit them down at the age of 1 and explain grammar rules to them. Children will listen repeatedly to the world around them, but only hear or absorb what they are capable of at that point in time. As their capacity grows they start to absorb more.

There is a lot that I don’t know, that I can’t explain in words; but that’s ok. I also feel that it is not always conducive to do so. What I see when I watch someone tie, or someone being tied, now is very different to what I would have seen 8 years ago, or even 2 years ago. What I heard or understood from an explanation given to me 8 years is very different from what I would hear or understand now, and what will hear or understand 5 years from now. -Milla Reika